Desperate People Do Desperate Things
by IsntSheLovely21
Summary: Desperate people do desperate things to attract attention.”
1. Desperate People Do Desperate Things

**Just something I had written out of bordem. Christmas chapters of One Headlight should be up at the end of this week. The past episode of Grey's got me thinking. hm...**

**

* * *

**

**I **knew that the man I was kissing was not my husband. I knew that the man who was muttering my name, was not the man I loved.

But the man I love was so far from me, it didn't matter for those moments.

What mattered was that somebody felt something for me.

**Desperation makes one do desperate things.**

Somewhere. Somehow. My husband stopped looking at me.

My husband stopped kissing me.

My husband stopped talking to me.

**As** a doctor, you see things. You see things that change your life.

You do things that changes lives.

**My** husband is a neurosurgeon. One of the best in New York. One of the best on the East Coast, to be exact. Being the best often makes you sought after. As best in my own field, I know the demands being number one makes on a person.

**We** **lost each other. **

We never slept at the same time.

We never ate at the same time.

Our schedules were so out of sync.

We passed each other in the halls.

We passed each other in the bathroom.

The passion for each other had been transferred to our jobs.

**We were so in love once. **

There were times when we would slip off into the on call room every spare second.

There were times where he would sit in the nursery with me.

There were times when I would sit up all night with him while he watched over a patient.

We were hopelessly in love.

**Then** the big leagues came. And so did the countless messages on our answering machine...

_"Sorry, sweetheart. I have a consultation in Maine. I won't be home for our anniversary."_

_"Derek, I may have to be in surgery tonight. I'm sorry. Happy Birthday."_

_"Addi, I can't make it."_

_"Der- I have to fly to Toronto."_

_"I am just going to crash in the on call room."_

_"Honey, where are you? We're waiting for you."_

_"Addison, Derek, its mom. Derek, its your brother... He.. He.. Can you come home?"_

_" Addison, it's Jackson.. Erica is pregnant. There are some complications. Can you fly out?"_

"_Addison, where are you?"_

"_Derek, I am waiting for you."_

_"Addison .(sigh). Bye."_

_"Forget it."_

_(click)_

**It went on. **

Suddenly the messages to each other stopped. The pages. The notes on the bathroom mirror. There was no more "I love you." No more brief moments before or after work.

We went from newlyweds to barely there.

**He stopped coming home. **

He would often crash in the on call room or at Mark's. When he would be home, I would be on my way out. It was ridiculous. We once crossed paths in the airport, surprised to see one another.

**We** still shared Christmas, though, but the holidays weren't enough. We would spend 5 glorious days together. Two days before finishing up any shopping and the two days after just relaxing. Those blissful days came crashing down last year.

**It **was the breaking point in my mind. I was sitting in his office waiting. I had checked my watch every few minutes. He was supposed to have gotten off at 9pm. The usual plan had been modified for his work schedule. Instead of our normal five days, we would only have three.

I sat in his office for over an hour. Eventually, I found myself curled up on his couch. Alone, on Christmas Eve.

The next morning, I awoke to find myself still in his office. That was it. I picked up my own belongings and rushed home. Derek was asleep on our couch. I sighed and slammed my bag on to the coffee table.

"I waited for you. I fell asleep on your couch! You were supposed to meet me in your office. I waited. I waited and you never showed up."

Derek rolled off the coach and on to the floor.

"Didn't you get my message? I paged you to tell you I got off at 7. I came right home. I guess I dozed off on the couch," he explained.

I growled in frustration and locked myself in our bedroom.

We spent Christmas in complete silence.

**How did we get so far apart?**

**We** tried to spend time together. We really did, but once again life picked up for us. I spent 3 months in Boston monitoring 2 multiple pregnancies.

Derek was between New York and Washington with Webber.

Months passed. My job was beginning to take its toll on me. I had lost 3 patients in a span of 4 months. I was miserable. I needed my husband. I needed Derek to hold me. To love me.

**Life came crashing down one July night**.

I had no idea where Derek was. I called the house. He wasn't home. I paged him. He didn't respond. I searched the hospital. He wasn't anywhere.

I threw my cell phone at the wall. I slid down further into my bed.

The phone on the nightstand began to ring.

"Shepherd."

"Addison? It's Mark. What's wrong?"

"Is Derek there?" I sniffled.

"No. I haven't seen him since the staff meeting."

"Damn it, Mark. What's wrong with him? What's wrong with me?"

I found myself bawling my eyes out over the phone.

"Addi. I'm coming over. I'll be over in 15 minutes."

**I** don't remember much after that. I remember Mark coming in and holding me as I cried. I could hear myself rambling on and on. Everything I had felt over the past 3 years was spilling out. I wanted Mark to so badly be Derek.

There is so much about that night I can't remember. I don't know how it happened, but Mark's lips were on mine. It was nice to have someone want me.

"Mark," I mumbled against his lips in protest.

A groan escaped my throat. All thought went out the window. My need to feel something took over.

I woke up to find Derek staring at me. The look on his face was indescribable. I looked down at the arm across my stomach.

"No. No, Derek. This isn't what it looks like!"

He shook his head and shut the door.

I shoved Mark away and pulled my sweatshirt and pajama pants on.

"Derek! Derek!" I shouted racing down the stairs and out on to our stoop. He turned around and gave me a look of disgust.

"Derek!" I shrieked. He ignored me, like he always did and got into a cab. That was the last time I had seen my husband.

**"Desperate people do desperate things to attract attention."**


	2. You Must Be The Woman

**Why didn't I chase after Derek? Why didn't I stay in New York? Why? Why? Why?**

**I** tried to call Derek a total of **113 **times in three months. He hung up on me **34** times. The other **78** times, I received his voicemail. **The final call**, I was told that his number was no longer in service.

****

I had no idea how to get a hold of my husband.

I had no idea where my husband was.

Some wife I am.

His favorite intern finally talked after 2 weeks of pestering. Dempsey Kirkpatrick was training to be the Derek Shepherd of his generation. Derek had been in contact with Dempsey through emails. Dempsey was supposed to fly out to where ever Derek was to work on his final year research assignment. The second I found out that Dempsey knew where Derek was, I pounced on him like a cheetah.

_"Where is he, Dempsey?" I asked for the thousandth time. _

The scrawny, dark haired young man looked at me nervously. I had a habit of making interns nervous.

"I- I can't tell you, Dr. Montgomery!"

"My name is Addison Shepherd. Dempsey, please. I need to talk to him."

"Seattle." he muttered. "Dr. Shepherd is in Seattle."

When I got the call from Richard to come to Seattle**, I saw it as a blessing in disguise**. In the privacy of my office, I did a little jig.

" Addison, its Richard. I've been meaning to call you. I need you to come to Seattle. There is a case here that I need you on.."

"I can be there tonight," I responded.

"Addi, Derek is here."

"I know."

"Addi, I don't know exactly what happened but-- Addison, he is with Ellis's daughter."

I stopped my dance and slumped into my chair. "Excuse me?"

"Derek has something going on with Meredith Grey."

I felt like I was punched in the stomach. My husband and my mentor's daughter? Oh god. I bit my lip in order to prevent the tears from coming. I make one mistake and my husband starts up with Grey? My mind is invaded with Ellis's voice. Ellis was never fond of her daughter. Meredith was a screw up in her mother's eyes. I felt sorry for Meredith then. Now, I want to maul her.

"I'll be there tonight."

**I** sat on the plane, twisting my wedding band around my finger. In one hour, I would be landing in Seattle. In an hour and a half, I would be on my way to the hospital. I was going to find Derek and make him listen.

I slid my hand into my briefcase and pulled out a packet of papers and a picture. The picture was of Derek and I on our wedding day. We had taken pictures in the OR as a joke. "A match made in medical heaven," we were called. I smiled at the memory.

The packet made me grim. My older brother despised Derek. He thought Derek wasn't good enough for me. When we started having problems, Jack had written up divorce papers. I was appalled by the action, but I kept them . Why? I don't know. **Some things we'll never know.**

**I **sat in front of the hospital, my eyes on the hideous van that belonged to my husband. I haven't seen Derek in 3 months. I didn't know where he was. Half the time, I didn't know where I was. The morning Derek left, I was a mess. If I didn't have my patients, I would have went from hospital to hospital looking for him. I should have known he would run to Richard. He always did.

**My husband likes to run away from his problems.**

I got out of my car and started walking towards the sliding doors. From afar I see a familiar silhouette. 

**As** I walked through the doors, I saw him chatting with a blonde. Ellis's daughter. I had seen a picture of Meredith once a long time ago. She was cute.

I smirked as Derek's eyes met mine. There is pain evident in his.

****

Derek, why couldn't you have just listened?

"Addison!" He managed to get out. His eyes were wide with a mixture of emotions.

"Hello Derek," I said proudly. With a flip of my hair, I turned towards Meredith. She was so confused. She looked almost child-like. Her eyes searched mine for any indication of who I was. I smiled at her. I was going to break this woman's heart. I felt sorry for the words I was about to speak.

"I'm Addison Shepherd," I introduced.

"And you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband."

****

….And I'm the bitch that broke his heart…..

… And he's the bastard that broke both of our hearts…..

Wow. We should start a support group.


End file.
